God's Country

That's what Mommy kept calling the beautiful area where we went on safari today with the family...God's Country. And, you can see why.....it is really awe inspiring. The place is outside Arusha Town, between Mt. Meru and Mt. Kilimanjaro....you can see beautiful views of both mountains from here. The photos today are of Mt. Meru, which we like a little bit more than Mt. Kili. I guess it's because our house is at the base of Mt. Meru and we stare up at it everyday from our garden...and Mommy is always telling Akira and I to look at "our mountain".

What a beautiful place we live in!

(Even though I slept through most of the viewing today)

One Big Happy Family....

....All on Mommy's lap! She's strong...she can handle it, right?

Pretty Good Day

Today was pretty fun. This afternoon Mommy, Aki and I went to baby group at Sam and Sophia's house. There were lots of Mommies and babies there. Mommy went a little crazy trying to chase down Akira while still feeding me so I didn't scream. Akira and I planned it out ahead of time, and we had sooo much fun watching Mommy running back and forth between us like a mad woman. It was too hard not to laugh, neither Aki nor me could hold it in.

After we got home from baby group, Mommy started a fire in the fireplace and I had a nice cozy dinner in front of the fireplace with some nice music and my whole family around before I headed off to bed.

Happy Friday!

Daredevil

I am finding my personality. I'm a dare devil for certain. I LOVE it when my Mommy swings me around the room and helps me fly high in the air. I laugh and laugh and laugh. Now, I've started smiling as soon as my Mommy comes in the room, because I know she will come over and tickle my feet or swing me high in the sky....it's fun!

Unibrow...

Uh oh....

from this angle it looks like there may be some waxing in my future (distant future though....like when I'm in my 20's...a Loooong time from now).

Eating on the Edge

I'm eating....Mommy's on the edge....she may go over to the crazy place at any moment....she's right at the edge of sanity.

I've become the most insane eater in the world. First of all, I am glutenous. If I could, I think I would eat from the time I woke up until the time I went to sleep with small bathroom and napping breaks only. I'm drinking 4 bottles of 7 ounces each and another 2 at 5 ounces each. That is 38 ounces a day! I would eat more, but Mommy makes me stop. It seems a huge amount for a healthy, regular sized 6 month old, but for a little person my size....Mommy is really afraid that it might not be so healthy for me to gain that much so fast.

And, I get REALLY mad at Mommy about food. I want MORE and I want it FAST and I want it NOW!!!! As soon as the bottle goes in my mouth I ravage it....most of it is coming out and drooling down my chin and neck. Sometimes I am sucking so hard that the nipple comes right off the bottle. I'm insatiable. If Mommy tries to slow me down at all or tries to burp me I SCREAM bloody murder. But, she does it anyway....because she thinks it is better to follow the doctors advice about how to eat so I spit up less. I don't really care about the doctor....have I mentioned....

I want my food NOW, FAST and MORE of it!!!

So Proud of my Abilities

Today we had a pizza party at Linda and Kyle's house. My brother, Akira and his friend Aiden played together. The adults talked. I had to do something interesting....

....SO....I went to the bathroom on Mommy. As she was changing me I spit up on her. It was a very fun afternoon!

My First Party

Today I went to a party with my family. It was for a little girl named Ester. Lots of people stared at me and came up to me and made funny faces at me. They are weird!

I mostly stayed attached to Mommy in the pack that she has. I fell asleep for a little while, but people didn't seem to want to let me sleep. Mommy put the hood up and everything so that I wouldn't be disturbed. But, people kept coming up and sticking their faces into mine and making noise, even when I was trying to sleep. So, Mommy gave up and we went home so that I could sleep in peace.

The rest of the day, I was a little bit of a monster. I screamed a LOT today. Here is what I looked like for the majority of my day. Even my big brother didn't know what to do with me. He was trying to play with me, but finally he gave up and stared at me, dumbfounded, while I screamed.

Happy Half Birthday to me!

I turned 6 months old today! 6 months.....there were some people out there who weren't even sure I would make it this long. But, I'm 6 months old...and going strong. I might be small, but believe me, I'm MIGHTY! And, I'm growing all the time. 2 weeks ago I weighed in at 3.8 kilos. In pounds that is 8.4 pounds. Today Mommy took me to the AAR clinic in town to be weighed. I weighed in at 4.4 kilos. That is 9.7 pounds. That is a gain of 1.3 pounds in 2 weeks! And, I'm getting more vocal and more hungry all the time. I almost always am asking Mommy to make an extra bit of bottle after I finish my original one these days.

To celebrate, the family went out for lunch today. I'm not sure that it really worked all that well for me. Everyone else got lunch out....I ate the same bottle of formula that I always do. I'm still too small and under-developed to start solids quite yet. We are waiting just a few more weeks until I can sit a bit more steadily. Anyway....it was fun (though I fell asleep half way through the meal).

I think that life is looking up....I can't wait to see what the next 6 months will bring!

Mommy has a migraine

But, don't worry. I'm not letting that stop me or my lungs. We are still going strong. I know how to scream when I am hungry and no silly migraine headache is going to stop me.

And, see how cute and chubby I'm getting. Screaming for my food works....

My Big Brother Loves Me!

And I love my big brother. He is always looking out for me, and he really likes to play with me. If I am crying, he gets worried about me and he comes over to put his hand on my head and say, "Shei Shei....Shei Shei...." over again.

I think I have the best big brother in the world....I'm so lucky!!!

sicko!

Well, it's the story of my life....at least so far! I seem to have sicko symptoms again. Really amazingly runny diarrhea is coming out of me really regularly. Mommy and Uncle Topher can't even keep up with it. I'm spitting up so so so much and when I have no more milk in me left to spit up, I spit up clear liquid. Luckily there is no blood anywhere. That is a good sign.

Mommy is going to have the nanny watch me closely tomorrow and then I may be making a trip back to the doctor this week. Mommy was hoping to wait until our regularly scheduled visit at the beginning of June, but if this continues, I can't wait two weeks to see a doctor.

All this worry of me being sick and of Akira's adoption is making Mommy very grumpy and very distracted and not able to concentrate at all. I hope June is a better month....May has been a rough one!

First Baby Group experience

Today was my first time going to baby group. Akira and Mommy have been going for a while, so they already knew everyone, but I needed to be introduced.

Sophia and Aiden were very interested in me. Sophia's Mommy has a baby in her belly right now, so Sophia has learned all about little babies since she is going to be a big sister soon. Aiden is just a friendly, curious boy....

I had fun....though I did spit up all over myself. Luckily Mommy has gotten used to this, and always travels with provisions now, including several changes of clothes. Still, despite the spit up...I had lots of fun being there with everyone....wow! Life is really pretty fun!!

It's time to tell my story

We've been so busy just trying to adjust and get me up to speed that there hasn't been time for much else. Finally though....and before it's forgotten, I need to tell you MY STORY!

I was born on 21 November 2008. Within the week my birthmom died. She was sick from HIV/AIDS. My Dad didn't know what to do with me, so he left me at the hospital (Mt. Meru hospital in Arusha) and finally, on 21 January they brought me to Cradle of Love Baby home in USA River, Tanzania. I was tested for HIV and tested positive. I was quite little and sickly and no one was holding out much hope for me. on 5 February I was admitted to the hospital again with a terrible case of malaria. I was in the hospital for days, as I was not responding to the medicine. They shaved my head and put IVs in it....it was not a fun time in my life. Miraculously I finally started responding after 3 days and slowly returned to good health. After 5 days I was able to return to the orphanage. Batilda, the nurse was very faithful and stayed with me all the time. By this time, I was ready to meet my forever Mommy. She had already adopted by big brother Akira from Cradle of Love and they often visited the orphanage. Mommy fell right in love with me....but was trying hard not to since I was so sick. Mommy started coming to visit me pretty regularly at the orphanage and kept hoping that I would get better soon.

Then, I went on my first plane ride! A volunteer from Cradle of Love took me to Dar es Salaam to get a more precise HIV test done on me. When you are tested right after your birth and your Mom is HIV, it can happen that you also test positive because your Mom's antibodies are still in you. If you do test positive, you have a 50% chance of actually having the virus and you need to get a different, more precise test done to confirm the results (the DNA/PCR test). So...off I went to get the test. While I was there I also got oral thrush! So, I was in the hospital in Dar...and on top of that, I was very ill and the doctor there listened to my chest and said he thought it likely that I also had TB and should also be tested for that. With all the sickly signs, both Mommy and the people at Cradle of Love thought there was a really good chance that I was, indeed, HIV +.

Then, the day came...February 23rd, 09.....the test results came back. Mommy heard the phone ring and picked it up...knowing that she was going to hear the news...and then they told her, "She tested negative". Oh my heavens! Music to everyones ears!!! I now had a chance at a life!

When I was born, my Mommy was so so sick, she just couldn't pass any immunities on to me...she had none to give. So, this is why I am more susceptible to illnesses in my first year. But, without HIV, my chances are much greater. The truth is, that for most babies in Africa born with HIV, they simply do not make it past their first year. Their immune systems are simply too compromised and the probability of catching malaria, pneumonia or some other disease are too great.

So, now that my status was cleared, the next step was to get in touch with my birth Father. His name is Davey and he is a very nice man. But, he is very often away, much older (in his 60s) and HIV positive. He did not want to raise me even though he loves me because he said he is thinking 10 years down the line and realizing that even if he is still here, he would have a very hard time providing for me. In TNZ, there is no social security or retirement plans....once you cannot work and support yourself anymore, you must hope that a relative will take you in. It is very unlikely that a relative would take in an elderly sick man with a young child. The reality here is harsh.

However, another aspect of TNZ culture is community. And, a big decision such as who might be allowed to adopt a child MUST be made by the entire extended family. SO....a big meeting on my behalf was scheduled for 14 April. My birth father traveled to Dodoma, where much of my extended family resides and they discussed my future. Upon my father's return to Arusha on 1 May, he informed by forever Mother that the family had agreed to her adopting me! Mommy found a lawyer to witness the paperwork, and on 5 May (cinco de Mayo), I was relinquished into my Mommy's care. I came home with her from Cradle of Love that night.

Mommy and my birth Dad still think it's important for me to know my birth family. I'm so happy about that....I want to know them. Besides my Daddy I have aunts and uncles and cousins, plus 3 grown up siblings. They are all a LOT older than me...but they are still my siblings and I want to know them!

So, that's my story, in short of how I came to live with my forever family, Mommy and Akira and our dog Twiga! (Uncle Gogo is also living with us right now). I am so lucky to be loved by SO MANY PEOPLE!!!

PS - just in case anyone is wondering what my Mommy is thinking....she assures Akira and I that we won't be having any more siblings...this is it! I'm ok with that....I love Akira, he's the coolest big brother ever. And, just the right age....14 months older than me!

I'm pretty but don't let that deceive you...

I like to look all innocent and cute and sweet, but underneath it all, I have a plan (insert evil laugh here)....

I'm trying to drive my Mommy right into the funny farm. I want to make sure that the moment the diaper comes off I poop all over....and as soon as she has finished changing me (and I mean the SECOND she has finished) I spit up all over the new set of clothes.

I refuse to burp when its appropriate but am certain to do it at the worst moment in the worst place with my head flailing around in order to get maximum gravity pull as I spit up all over the room.

I really am evil incarnate! (but I'm cute while I'm doing it).

Lots to see and do

Uncle Topher took the day off and played with Akira and I today because Jane wasn't able to come. We had a fun day!

I am also starting to eat more....and Mommy is just trying to keep up with my bottles. Today, I had 7 bottles! Go me!!!!

I'm a fighter!!

Today, I decided to start getting mad and fighting for my food a bit. I woke up at 5am this morning crying for my breakfast. Mommy wasn't even mad....she was just happy that I was actually waking up and fighting a bit.

Happy Mother Day!

Today was Mother's Day. We didn't really celebrate it particularly....though it is both Mommy and my first time at having a Mother's Day. We'll celebrate better next year....this year has been a bit crazy.

What we did do today is to try to get a bit organized. Mommy organized the drawers and the closet. Now Akira and I each have a closet right next to each other.

And, we have a LOT of stuff to help me with extra stimulation. I don't know exactly what that means....but I know that Mommy wants me stimulated and is going to great lengths to make sure that I am. And, it's working! I'm quite interested in all the stuff going on around me. Wow....there is a lot to see in this world!

socks on my hands??

Seriously! She's put socks on my hands! This is because I like to suck on my hands. I don't care that they become pruned and grey. If I don't care....why in the world should my new Mommy?

Quite frankly, the jury is still out on her! But, she is helping me to eat without spitting up so much by making sure I'm sitting upright all during my meals and for a half hour afterward. And, she did manage to get ahold of a bunch of bright noise making sort of things that she is letting me play with. That's pretty cool. But....socks on my hands??? Please!

And, let me complain about that silly doctor for a few minutes. He has my Mommy all worried because of my very low weight and my lack of development. Give me a break man. You try being me. I've been sick basically my whole life, I'm really too little to develop all these major motor skills and muscles and I haven't had a Mommy or family to stimulate me or talk to me or spend time with me. I'd like to see the doctor walk a mile in my shoes and see how "developed" he is! Anyway....Mommy promises that she's going to get me all fixed up and going strong!

Just to give her a run for her money tonight I kept shooting diarrhea out of my bottom every time she got it cleaned up. I'm getting to be a pretty good shot. I got it half way across the room and into the dogs crate this time....straight shot! ha.....and they call me, "under-developed". I bet not everyone has skills like me. ;-)

Jane, the nanny

Today the nanny who is going to be taking care of me started. Mommy was so excited because she showed up a half hour early! And, she came in right away and helped to change my diaper! And, she wondered if Jenny, the housekeeper was sick and not coming in to work today because she was so late (except that Jenny came at her usual time...she's just late to work every single day).

Jane knew just what to do with me to make me smile and laugh....and she got me all cleaned up and kept feeding me and trying to get as much food in me as possible in order to help me gain some weight. She also was very good in getting the dehydration salts down me and in getting my antibiotics in me so I can get healthy as soon as possible. When Mommy and Akira got home from the social worker, they found me sitting all clean and pretty looking with Jane while she was playing with me and showing me a book and singing to me. Mommy was pretty happy about it.

So far, I really like my new house and I really like my new family and I really like my new Nanny. I think I'll stick around for a while....this could get good!

Another day at the Doctor

I am only 5 1/2 months old, but I have spent a LOT of my little life at the Doctor. When I was first born, I tested positive for HIV. That was a very stressful event in my little life. Then, soon after that I got malaria and a REALLY bad case of it, spent days in the hospitals with my head shaved and IVs sticking out of it. I was not responding to the medicine and everyone was getting a bit worried that they were going to loose me. Then, right after that, I had oral thrush! Geeze, you would think that the universe would give me a break. But no, I flew to Dar to have a more precise HIV test, during which time the doctor there was concerned that I had symptoms for TB and should be tested. Amazingly enough, I tested negative for HIV! Everyone was so amazed and excited....especially my new Mommy who had spent weeks agonizing over what to do about my HIV status. Fast Forward to two months later....I have never been 100% well, but I am finally home with my family and so the very first order of business for my Mommy was to get me to a doctor to find out why my weight is so so low (I weigh 4.3 kilos or about 9 pounds which is VERY VERY low for a five and a half month old), and to find out why I don't keep any food down. There is only one pediatrician in town, but he ran a lot of tests today and got me on some medicine to keep me hydrated while they look into what is going on with my little body! I have to go back on Friday....but at least my brother will also have a doctor appointment that day (he has to get vaccination shots....hahaha!)

I'm home!

Wow....do I have a story to tell you. I can't tell it all tonight though.....we are one tired family. So, over the next few days check back, and I'll get the story written down right. For now, it is enough to know that my Mommy came today to pick me up with my Uncle Gogo and my brother, Akira. He is very nice to me and always wants to hug me. We came home and I got to meet our dog, Twiga. What a very nice day! I can't wait to tell you my story and then to see what is going to happen next in my story! Stay tuned!!!